that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
