I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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