So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
