At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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