Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
