In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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