a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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