THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
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1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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