I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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