i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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