carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
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Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
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They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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