If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
