i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
