the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
