when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
