Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
