He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
