i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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