You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
