she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
