I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
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Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
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Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?