What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
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Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.