i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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