She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
