You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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