she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
