i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
