I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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