Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Come on in and take your pants off
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