No awkward lesbian experiences without me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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