Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dear god my vagina.
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