Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
