Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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