pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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