I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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