There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
