i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
