Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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