At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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