I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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