I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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