I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
