she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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