THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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