How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
