I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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