Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  where are you

  (303): View more from Colorado

  in your bedroom

  (602): View more from Arizona

  how did you get in

  (303): View more from Colorado

  your wife…

  (602): View more from Arizona

  WTF

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  (602): where are you (303): in your bedroom (602): how did you get in (303): your wife… (602): WTF http://tfl.nu/cmfn
  Replies (6) Good night (1254) Bad night (2292)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Bea Arthur died! :(

  (214): View more from Texas

  What?

  (936): View more from Texas

  Big bird passed.

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  (936):Bea Arthur died! :( (214):What? (936):Big bird passed. http://tfl.nu/7dhn
  Replies (8) Good night (695) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out

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  (612): Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out http://tfl.nu/cyb8
  Replies (45) Good night (5611) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.

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  (604): I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was. http://tfl.nu/96eh
  Replies (21) Good night (824) Bad night (6214)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.

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  (828): Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying. http://tfl.nu/gcnz
  Replies (12) Good night (1054) Bad night (5418)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.

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  (703): I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone. http://tfl.nu/c91d
  Replies (4) Good night (2509) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?

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  (415): I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number? http://tfl.nu/po3x
  Replies (7) Good night (9061) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another

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  (248): maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another http://tfl.nu/vil6
  Replies (6) Good night (882) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.

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  (401): Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here? (231): Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds. (401): I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window. http://tfl.nu/vqmu
  Replies (0) Good night (972) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."

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  (931): What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed." http://tfl.nu/pp3s
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.

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  (423): I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free. http://tfl.nu/3xxx
  Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?

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  (716): Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people? http://tfl.nu/zzej
  Replies (0) Good night (487) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.

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  (714): I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms. http://tfl.nu/fj21
  Replies (2) Good night (503) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE

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  (647): HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE http://tfl.nu/kj6q
  Replies (4) Good night (244) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?

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  (267): Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five? http://tfl.nu/q5fc
  Replies (0) Good night (387) Bad night (170)

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