come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.