if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.