ADVERTISEMENT

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...

  Fav 4 828 3778

  share tweet
  

• (712): View more from Iowa

  I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.

  Fav 4 4976 794

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?

  Fav 7 4259 1071

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay

  Fav 15 4483 2278

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...

  Fav 19 2383 969

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.

  Fav 6 1512 754

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.

  Fav 11 2934 1159

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today

  Fav 2 1209 714

  share tweet
  

• (772): View more from Florida

  Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

  Fav 21 2332 763

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (806): View more from Texas

  I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really

  Fav 4 844 621

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...

  Fav 4 662 846

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (607): View more from New York

  I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.

  Fav 1 664 374

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.

  Fav 0 448 311

  share tweet
  

• (718): View more from New York

  Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can

  Fav 0 27 60

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (256): View more from Alabama

  It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.

  Fav 1 28 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize