if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
