What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??