Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays