haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.