Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market

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(586): I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market http://tfl.nu/4otb

Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (972)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj

(910): View more from North Carolina

I think that's fair trade off

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(910): He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj (910): I think that's fair trade off http://tfl.nu/hrzk

Replies (50) Good night (3835) Bad night (665)
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(646): View more from New York

The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.

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(646): The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song. http://tfl.nu/nwvh

Replies (87) Good night (4189) Bad night (1146)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.

(803): View more from South Carolina

I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops

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(803): I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me. (803): I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops http://tfl.nu/kudg

Replies (6) Good night (4107) Bad night (730)
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(949): View more from California

Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"

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(949): Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick" http://tfl.nu/m9ln

Replies (22) Good night (3855) Bad night (1250)
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(+33): View more from France

Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.

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(+33): Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that. http://tfl.nu/zac1

Replies (2) Good night (2424) Bad night (883)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I was tackling you out of excitement

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.

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(316): I was tackling you out of excitement (918): Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall. http://tfl.nu/io5x

Replies (3) Good night (1362) Bad night (633)
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(585): View more from New York

She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.

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(585): She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/s5wp

Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (889)
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(647): View more from Ontario

You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws

(416): View more from Toronto

That explains the stains on my shirt

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(647): You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws (416): That explains the stains on my shirt http://tfl.nu/ptlu

Replies (3) Good night (1463) Bad night (567)
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(503): View more from Oregon

You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.

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(503): You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before. http://tfl.nu/c801

Replies (13) Good night (1102) Bad night (613)
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(514): View more from Quebec

He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.

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(514): He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac. http://tfl.nu/t8wx

Replies (11) Good night (500) Bad night (1509)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.

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(803): Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know. http://tfl.nu/qron

Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (615)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it

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(508): Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it http://tfl.nu/qcg9

Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (440)
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(408): View more from California

I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW

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(408): I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW http://tfl.nu/h958

Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (370)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies

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(580): You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies http://tfl.nu/zkwv

Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (325)

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