Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.