is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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