Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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