she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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