I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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