yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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