yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
