alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
