Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
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You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
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As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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