my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
