It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
