My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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