carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
