I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize