your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
